Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Be Cautious: Delighting in Evil

I find myself in the strange situation where I can put myself in the shoes of victims of abuse because I've been there.

It's uncomfortable.

It's especially uncomfortable when I hear the love and devotion to abusers.

And it's even more uncomfortable when I hear the voices of outsiders telling those who love  abusers to, "leave. Get out. Walk away. He is a piece of trash and will always be a piece of trash."

And, to go further, it is maddening to see the people who say those things also rejoice in his downfall...
and profess to be Christian.

Here's where I find the words to say, friends. 

I have experienced loving a man with all my heart - loving who he was at that very moment and seeing the potential in him while thinking that I knew the sordid details of his past; believing fully that he had changed, reformed, and found Christ; trusting him with my heart and with my life because I thought I knew him. I believed, with my whole being, that I knew him.

I have experienced the ripping pain that comes with realizing, very suddenly, that I don't actually know the man I married - that the past that I knew about wasn't everything; that the past melded with the present in a very real and tangible way, and that I had been given the Reader's Digest version mixed with a fairy tale. Some truth, some fiction, and a whole lot left out.

I have experienced the soul-crushing, suffocating feeling of finding out that the man you love has been looking elsewhere for sexual satisfaction. I have curled up on multiple floors, weeping uncontrollably, fully believing that his indiscretions were my fault, and, the first time that he confessed, fully believing that I could forgive him, and if I loved him through it, he would have no choice but to never be unfaithful again. And then finding out later that he was once again, unfaithful. Multiple times. 

I have experienced well-meaning friends and family telling me, multiple times and in multiple ways, to just, "leave. Get out. Walk away. It isn't healthy for you." 

I have experienced the expectation of the Church to stay and the maddening confusion of Christians telling me to leave while being unable to shake away the feeling that I was still supposed to be a, "good, faithful wife," leading my, all of a sudden, unbelieving husband to salvation.

Friends, in this process, there is ZERO room to delight in the downfall of one who had once professed a saving knowledge of Christ. There is more to the story than the abuser. There is more to the story than the adulterer. 

Someone's life is being ripped apart and you delight in that? Someone's family is being ripped apart and you rejoice in that? 


Let me repeat that.


Today, Josh Duggar was once again called out - his actions done in the dark were brought to light in regards to his name being on the the Ashley Madison leak list. He, supposedly (for while the credit card statement certainly looks like it's him, he hasn't made any statements as of yet and there were some reported fake accounts on that list; and I don't like to jump the gun), used the site for all that it was worth, as a way to meet women open to committing adultery with him. And people around America are delighting in his demise. 

Christians are delighting in his demise.

Can I repeat something I said before?


Stop it.

He has a wife. He has children. He has a family. And while you might think he is the sleaziest of sleazeballs, there is NO reason to delight in this evil. 

Yes, all things done in the dark will come to light - but there is zero reason for us to delight in that.

It is a cause for mourning; a cry of our souls for Christ to come quickly. But this deed will cause extreme pain for those who love him, who believed him, and who live with him. And that breaks. my. heart.

I. Don't. Care if you don't like him. I don't. But not liking someone was never a cause for not loving someone. "Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

How are you protecting the victims of his indiscretions? Are any of you hoping that he truly repents and seeks justice for his wrongs? Or are you hoping that more comes out so you can hate on him further? 

Are you delighting in evil?

If so, check yourself. Were it not for the grace of God, that could be you, your family being ripped apart - and don't you for one second think that it's because of your own willpower that it's not because we are ALL the worst kind of sinners. 

As for grace? Grace, in this case, can take the form of hoping and praying that he seeks help for both himself AND his family. Grace takes the form of praying for him and his family during this time. Grace takes the form of not delighting in evil, in hoping that the Holy Spirit works through him and his family and uses them for the glory of God. 

You don't have to like him. But you don't need to spread slander. You don't need to jump the gun. And you don't need to delight in evil.